letting go.

Isn't it weird that the things in our life we need to work on most are the hardest things for us to do? Like patience. This is a big one for me. I am not a patient person. And when I pray for patience, I get situations that force me to be patient, in order for me to learn. For example, traffic. Not a fun thing for me. However, I think my biggest struggle is giving up control of my life. Sooo badly am I trying to hold on to it, and at the same time still trying to allow Christ to be in control. This doesn't make sense, yet I still hold on. Why do I want control? Am I trying to prove I am self- sufficient. I think I have come down to it being a pride issue, and that ultimately I think my way for my life is better. When will I realize and truly believe God's plan is bigger and better than I could ever hope for on my own?

I am trying to work on my pride, seeing as it is a root issue for a lot of things in my life. I am learning to reflect and contemplate the cross of Christ, because it is there that we shrink to our true size. Just the thought of the cross is humbling.

I want to stand as close to the cross as I possible can, because it is harder for me to be arrogant when I am there.