thinking against the grain.

lead on.

2011-01-26T20:15:00.000-08:00

Oh what a mercy is an upright heart!- That renounces the world and everything in it that stands in competition with his God. And who takes God to be his God indeed; and to be his Lord, his Judge, his Portion, and his All: who in temptation remembers that God is watching, and in all his duty is motivated and ruled by the will and pleasure of his Judge; and considers the observation and thoughts of man as he would the presence of a bird or beast (unless piety, justice or love requires him to have respect for man as God may require); who when men applaud him as person of exceptional godliness or holiness is apprehensive and fearful lest the all-knowing God should think otherwise of him than his applauders; and who when under all the criticisms, reproaches and slanders of men (even though good men might be tempted to thus abuse him) can live in peace, resting upon the approbation of his God alone. and can rejoice in his justification by his righteous Judge and gracious Redeemer, though the insignificant criticisms of man condemn him.

Truly I cannot understand how any other man than this can live a life of true and solid peace and joy. If God's approbation and favor don't give you peace, nothing can rationally give it to you. If the pleasing of God doesn't satisfy you, though men, though good men, though all men should be displeased with you, I don't know how or when you will ever be satisfied.

-Richard Baxter

completely conformed.

2010-09-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Romans 8:29-30

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

You are stronger.

2010-09-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

So i was just thinking about how it is so easy to believe lies about God. Why do we read the truth in His word, then hear some false truth and think, "ya that must be true." so foolish. As i was thinking about it this passage came to mind.

Romans 1:18-32
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them.
For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.

I do not want these things to characterize my life; nor do i want to continue believing the lies as truth. Ps. 12:6 says the words of the Lord are pure words. Do i trust this?

My prayer is that I would.

on God I rest.

2010-05-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

The Word of God is so powerful.

Is. 55:11
"So shall My Word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void. But it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

Amen.

Through Him we have everything, yes, everything we need.

2 Peter 1:3
"as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge o fHim who called us by glory and virtue"

and lastly:
2 Peter 1:5-11 SOOO GOOD!
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
For he who lacks these things is shortsighted even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I pray i can be more diligent.

greater things.

2010-04-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

This morning we had our Saturday morning women's fellowship. We had a dear friend Laura come and share with us on contentment. She shared from James 4:13-17, and spoke of four responses to God's sovereign will. Funny she chose this topic because it is exactly what I have been thinking about lately. Why am I so intent on my own will, and why do I want my plans to be better than the Lord's.

Proverbs 16:9- In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

No matter what God's will prevails; why do I continue to fight it?

Here are the 4 responses:
1) Those who disregard His sovereign will.
-> It is so easy to do this. I often ignore it because I think my plans are better. Even though I know the Lord to be soverein over ALL things, I am persistant to make my will His, instead of His mine.

2) Those who do His sovereign will.
-> I should be doing everything with the mindset that "if the Lord wills" i will do this. I can plan my way, but if the Lord wills, it will be done. Do I trust this will?

3) Those who deny His sovereign will.
->How often do we boast in our own plans? I do this alot!! for example, I say: when i graduate, i am going to have this great job (not only am i assuming i will have a great job, i am boasting in the work i have accomplished to get there. What if the Lord has another plan? would i be disappointed?)

4)Those who disobey His sovereign will.
-> Often I know what His plan for me to do is, and I disobey by still trying for my will to override His. His will is for me to be sanctified and glorify Him. I am being disobedient when i don't trust it.

How I wish I could be content knowing His will for my life is better than mine. I wish my desires were His. I only want to glorify the Lord.

I hope this can be of some encouragement, as it has been to me as I reflect of His word.

He rescued me.

2010-04-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

"When we are insensitive to sin, it is obvious we have idols."

I can become so accepting of my sin. why do i when i know it is so offensive and hostile toward God. The only way He can even look at me is because of my belief in His Son, and when He sees me He sees Christ.

I want to live a spiritually transformed life; a life that was only possible through Divine intervention.

all the faint lights.

2010-04-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

First of all, I want to shoutout to the West Coast. There are times when i miss it so much. I miss friends. I miss CBU times. I miss familiarity.

However, I love living in Florida. I wouldn't change living here for the things I miss. The Lord truly does direct our steps (Proverbs 16:9). I have been challenged so much and I am so thankful the Lord's will is more perfect than I could ever want. I often think I know what's best. I am learning how sweet it is to be inside the Lord's will.

As of late i have been seeing the necessity of knowing Scripture and constantly being emersed in the Word of the Lord. I am drawn to Psalm 119. The whole chapter focus' on meditating on the Word and how excellent it is. If it wasn't 176 verses i would type it all. Just a few to point out are some sweet prayers and promises. It so constantly reminds me of the importance of Scripture. Ps 119:37 "Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to covetousness." v. 59: I thought about my ways and turned my feet to Your testimonies. ; v.160: the entirety of Your word is truth. ; v. 165: Great peace have those who love Your law., and nothing causes them to stumble.

At college group on Thursday we read from Acts 8. We were reminded how to be an effective evangelist we need to be FLUENT with the Word. Fluent would mean that I know it, just like I am fluent in English. I'm not just conversational. But I constantly settle to be conversational with the Word. I just know enough to somewhat communicate. But I can't be that effective if I only can partially communicate my message.

I just want to be more in the Word. I want to memorize it and soak it in. From it comes wisdom.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10.

ice cream.

2010-03-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

So i went to a church families house for lunch today, and we had ice cream for dessert. Talk about options!

:)

photobooth.

2010-02-06T18:48:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when you spend time with family!

love happens.

everyday, it's You I live for.

2010-02-05T18:57:00.001-08:00

So recently i've been thinking about last summer and working at Clydehurst Christian Ranch. I miss it so much! i was looking through pictures and am so grateful for the opportunity. It was unexplainable. I miss the people, the staff, my summer home. God truly worked there. I miss the mountain air, the carefree adventure. Sometimes i wish I could escape there and stay forever.

cousins.

2010-01-26T19:14:00.001-08:00

How can you not love these faces?! these are my cousins; they are so great!

Baby Elijah.

Josiah.

Ezra.

here's a few extra.

and of course Autumn Grace.

photo credit: http://www.michellekristinephotography.com/

Palm Beach Atlantic.

2010-01-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

Today was the end of my first week of school. Not bad i must say. I figured you may want to see what my school and the downtown of West Palm Beach looks like, so i looked like a tourist and took some pics!

Here is the building on the corner of Dixie and Okeechobee (2 streets).
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This is the Greene Complex..also known as the gym..well the front at least.
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Okeechobee..its fun to say.
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These next few pics were taken from school on my way to city place (which for those in Riverside is about the same as the plaza..except different stores!)
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Panera is my favorite! sorry it's sideways.

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This is the parking garage where I will now be parking.
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this is my house..well..where i live.
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and just for good measure..i spent the evening babysitting my cousin Autumn, and I couldn't resist her cuteness.

muse.

2010-01-11T06:47:00.000-08:00

no school on Mondays. I think i can get used to this.

you may be wondering.

2010-01-09T06:52:00.001-08:00

I'm in Florida now! I arrived on tuesday and have been busy..yet it has not been stressful at all. I am living with my aunt and uncle, and it has been great! On wednesday my dad and I drove down to Palm Beach Atlantic University, which is where i will be going to school. It takes about 20 mins to get there. I was able to get my schedule organized, which was very helpful. I registered for 15 units, which was about all i could get into because i registered pretty late. They campus was really nice, and is right on the intercoastal waterway. Palm trees everywhere! We hit up Panera Bread which is 1) my favorite place, and 2) so close to the school so i can study there!. It is located at City Place, which for those of you at CBU is exactly like the plaza..except they have classy stores and macy's and such. I had to go back to school on Thursday, which was my official check in day. I got my I.D. card and bought my books and am now ready to go! i have no monday classes so next tuesday i begin!

It has been cold this week, which is rare because it's usually so humid you dry off after a shower and are still wet (gross yes). However, it is raining today, and a high of 51 degrees. I think i'll save running for another day.

Last night we had a bunch of kids over from the college group from the church i will be attending. It was really nice to meet some new people, so of which attend PBA and some who have already graduated. We ate, played wii, and apples to apples bible edition (so funny).

I am enjoying my time here. My dad left today, so i think now that he is gone it will start sinking in that i am here. I somewhat still feel like i am on vacation and will be leaving soon, but that is not the case. I could use prayer so that I will adjust easily, and just really focus on the Lord in the free time I have, and find ways to get involved and be intentional.

also, I really should get a job.

Hope this new year is starting well for everyone else. God really is good!

and another.

2010-01-03T22:17:00.000-08:00

one more thing.

for some reason..i would love to experience the joy of having my own mini pig..even if it is for only a day.

3 things.

2010-01-03T22:13:00.001-08:00

I have a few random things I would like to do in 2010 as of late.

1) join or take some sort of hip hop class. It is something I enjoy randomly doing for fun (even if it is at the gym).

2) read more!

3) get involved in some sort of outreach ministry weekly.

anyways..it was a not so lazy sunday!

and..i move in 2 days..!

A New Year.

2010-01-01T20:55:00.001-08:00

Well hello 2010! This is a time for a "new beginning". A new decade has come, and I am ready to take on whatever it brings, that being whatever the Lord wills.

First, as I reflect 2009, I am thankful for a great year! I worked in Montana for the summer and had a great first half of my junior year of college. I ablsolutely love CBU! I was a FOCUS leader, and truly enjoyed working with my partner and getting to know the freshman. I also had great roommates! I was able to spend more time with Hope, as well as get to know the other girls.

This was truly a great year, and the Lord definitely taught me many things. I have realized more and more the deep relationship Christ offers. It is a true friendship and love only possible through grace displayed in the cross. There is so much power in His name. I am so thankful to be known by Him.

This year is beginning with BIG changes. The biggest decision I have made lately is to move to Jupiter, FL (close to West Palm Beach), to live with family and continue with school. My hope is to be stripped from all I have and not be so set on my plan for everything. I know God is leading me here, and I am embracing His call. As I battle my desire to remain in control, I long for Him to have all of me completely, so all I am left with is Him. I know it will be challenging, but I think I am ready. And I know He will equip me with whatever I need. I am thankful for my family down there and can't wait to see what the Lord does.

As I move, I will be leaving lots of familiarity behind, especially with people i have invested in and sincerely love. They will be missed but I know our friendships go beyond distance.

I welcome 2010 with open arms.

Resolved, aim to glorify God in whatever and wherever He leads me.

Ocean Eyes

2009-09-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

It's been so long. This is going to have a lots of random thoughts and things..probably because thats how my mind and life is right now :)

Well for one, I worked everyday this week. I work for my friend's parents trucking company. I tried taking a picture of what I do today, but I can't figure out how to send it to my computer, and I was a bit lazy. It's a fun job, and I enjoy going :) I refilled the staples in the stapler today. That's how exciting it is :)

Second, I am playing powderpuff football, in which I am definitely excited about out team. Fortuna Bowl? yes please!

Third, I love Owl City. I started listening to him/them over the summer in Montana, and just recently I bought the cd. I love when every song on a cd is actually legit. I will be going to their show in october. Can't wait!!

Fourth, I love my apartment, except that our bedroom is always freezing. other than that, there is normally at least 5 people here at all times. There's no party like a 326 party.

Fifth, does anyone else think its hard to stay focused on what is important, when everything around you seems to be pulling you away? Does anyone else seem to struggle giving God all control? I do.

Sixth, I love the hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand". It is so true. when everything is falling apart, Christ is our solid rock. amen!

Seventh, I have decided that I almost enjoy running. I am going to run a half marathon with my school in the spring, i believe it is. I love the feeling after a run. So refreshing.

Eigth, I am already thinking of my plans for next summer. I could really use prayer in understanding where to go or what to do.

Nineth, man this list is long. Random fact, I'm addicted to chocolate. Why does it have to be so good.

And finally, tenth ( i just decided i would stop here). I want to work on prayer. I want to wake up early and hang out with God, and dive into His work. I want Him to be my only desire. I want everything else to fade.

well this has been fun.
I hope everyone is having a great week and that you are blessed so you can then be a blessing.

-hillary

always forever.

2009-08-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

So yes, I am home, and i have not blogged for some time. To sum it up, camp was amazing! There's no possible way to go to Montana for the summer, meet amazing people, meet God, and not be changed. It was all I expected to be, and so much more.

It is so hard to get back into the swing of things at home. Life not at camp is completely different. A different pace, a different world. I'm not sure I like it. My perspective has changed about a lot of things. I remember coming home, and walking in from lunch, and my family saying "Let's watch t.v." and me thinking, there is so much more we could be doing. It just seems so pointless. There is so much more that Hollywood reality and vain living. I am so thankful to learn that.

How have I changed? I have somewhat changed my idea of what I want to do with my life. I see myself going places. I don't think I can stay in the same city for awhile. I must do something purposeful. I want to see God work and lives changed. I am willing to go where He takes me, wherever that is. I am willing.

I am not a crier, but I was moved today while watching a preview for a movie. (yes though t.v. seems pointless, i did go to the movies with the fam). Anyhow, in the movie, some kid is rejected by everyone and kds at school, and a little boy befriends him. He helps him, and they become family. I want to be like that little boy. I was moved by his compassion and love. I want that.

Lord, may you be my desire, and may i serve others and seek you.

I move to school on Tuesdsay, and cannot wait! FOCUS is going to be a blast..woop woop!

I need to start my packing. :)

-Hillary

i'll fly away.

2009-08-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

The time has come. We have one more week of camp! i have barely blinked and it's gone by. I don't like how fast it has gone. But it has been incredibly amazing. I am not ready to leave this new body of Christ. I have made some amazing friends. It will be hard to go. This past weekend was a great last one. About 15 of us went to Graham Creek, which is a 12 mile hike up to this open meadow. The beauty was astounding. It was definitely challenging..but so worth it.

I want to cherish every moment this week. I would even consider this place "home". I am anxious yet excited about the coming semester...I know God has a plan for it..and i am excited to see what that is!

I miss you all and will see you in less than a week!

pics of course!
hillary

girl counselor band pic.

..open meadow.

miles away.

2009-08-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. ahh so fun. So the campers left this morning, and at 9:30 am all of us staff piled in the back of pick up trucks with old matresses and drove to the end of the road, to eventually hike up Monument (a very high mountain). it was soo much fun. We stood in the bed of the trucks all the way there, driving through muddy piles and over giant rocks. It took us about 4 hrs to finally reach our destination. We had to stop for lunch, and let's just say the trucks got stuck many many times. It was so great. Then hiking up Monument was incredible. You basically climb up the side of a mountain, and the view at the top is not even able to be grasped in a picture, so sorry about that. The pictures i took don't even do the mountain justice. You get a 360 degree view of everything around you. The elevation is about 11,000 ft. So great. It was a beautiful day, and so great to see the vast nature that God has created, and so few people get to see such a place.

I can't believe we have 2 weeks left. It's so surreal. Also a quick update. Lauren, our wrangler, and her family are coming to visit for a few days! i think Clydehurst is the perfect place to get away too, especially with all the people that love them so much!

This past week i worked with the jr. highers. It was so great. I learned so much just through the lessons we were teaching them. One thing i learned is that God always comes through for those who believe in Him. We read about Daniel and the lion's den, and it was so neat to remember that when we put God first and trust Him, He will provide a way and ultimately recieve the glory. On thursday night, we went on a campout just down the road. We slept under the stars. Besides it being freezing, it was so great to just lay and see all the stars. It was a great week.

I miss everyone at home, but am soaking in the last few weeks here!

and now for some pics :)
hillary

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this is where we were hiking to..aka. Monument.
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this is the piece we sign at the top, showing we have reached it..my brother did it 2 yrs ago..
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my hiking buddy, Kim.
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you said.

2009-07-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

Last night was a rough night. The day was going so well, then something happened that rocked Clydehurst. Our dear friend Lauren, the wrangler, the amazing one who is in charge of the horses, got a phone call. Her mom had been out walking (in Ohio where she is from), and was tragically hit by a car. She passed away instantly. This is never a phone call you want to hear. I was working in the coffee shop here, when they told us to gather in the office. I though we were all in trouble, but this was not the case. The news hit most of us pretty hard. Me being one of them, as in I have also lost my mother. It hit another also hard, who lost his dad at a young age, who also got an unexpected call to find his dad sick and dying. All of us had no idea what to do. She was packing up and heading home. I quickly wrote a letter, hoping to encourage her if possible. But as I wrote i began to become a little angry. More so, i became scared of being angry. With God? maybe. More angry that now she has to go through what i did and still am. I was able to see her before she left. I can't even explain what it is like, but i felt for her. At this point i wanted to run, just get away. My best friend Chrita and I went to check on 2 of our friends, who had gone to chop wood as an outlet for the distress. Christa and i went running. the whole time we prayed, crying out to God. God met us there. We asked why? we wondered what to do. We prayed for an attitude change. God says ask, and we did. I am trusting in His love. It is going to be a trying adjustment for us as a staff, but God is good, all the time. I am looking forward to seeing how He works in this.

Ps. we by far have the best summer staff ever!

One a lighter note, here are a few pictures from my family being here :) so fun.
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me working the coffee shop.
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field riots!!

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me working the hunger hut!
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my a.m. running group :)
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lastly, please be praying for Lauren and her family.

hillary.

rise. shine. and give God the glory.

2009-07-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hello! i feel like it's been awhile, though it probably hasn't. I hope everyone is well. This week is the 2nd week of family camp, and my dad, Beth, Andria, and her friend are here as campers. So great! it was kinda hard at first, finding that balance between spending time with them, and still working and serving the campers as well. But it has been so great seeing them! i had yesterday afternoon off and was able to go on a hike with them. I think they are having an awesome time, and i love seeing them!

This week has been incredibly hard on my part. Family camps offer alot more free time for us counselors. Though there is still stuff to do, there is still free time. This allows me more time to 1)sleep, and 2) think. This could be good, however this week i have found myself thinking alot about things that are bothering me. I seem to notice all my flaws: how selfish i am, what things other people do that irritate me, how jealous i can be at times, how much i havent been in God's Word, and how much i haven't been praying for others when i say i will. I was really frustrated by this. I knew i needed to take a night and catch up, rest, pray, and be with the Lord. Last night i did this, and am way more refreshed. I read Luke 11:9-10, which says, "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you." This is so true, i realized. God wants us to bring our requests to Him. So i prayed this: Father, i am coming to you expectant, with faith that you will give me a better attitude. Give me strength when i am tired, and Your love to serve and encourage others. Help me to trust in Your work here. May Your word be spread, and may i be used for Your glory. I love you Lord. Amen

miss and love you all!
hillary.

how great...Your love for us.

2009-07-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

So family camps have started, and it is a LOT different. One obvious difference is the amount of free time i have. I have enjoyed the time to catch up on sleep. Our duty as counselors is also really different. The biggest struggle now is that I don't feel as needed, in a spiritual sense at least. During youth camps, we were on the front lines of what was happening in the kid's lives, and we could see God working, at least for the most part. Now I am just hoping that what i am doing is being used for God's glory, and somehow i am making a difference.

One thing i have enjoyed is late night running. At about 11:30 pm, my friend Christa and I run to Mile Rock and back, in the pitch black with only the stars and sometimes moon as our light. It is such an awesome time. The first night we ran, we were a bit scared (those lies creep into our mind about bad things happening), so the entire time we recited Scripture. I was amazed at how it just flowed, and the presence of God was felt mightily. It was soo awesome. This has become a routine; a time for us to really talk one on one and just stand amazed by God. I have loved this verse for some time now : Ps. 73:26- My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

♥
hillary

Behold He comes.

2009-07-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Oh man. Today is a big day. It is the halfway point of my summer at Clydehurst Christian Ranch. The youth camps are over, and we are preparing for family camps to come. I cannot believe it. I haven't been on in awhile, so this may be long. I feel the need to fill you in on alot.

First of all, 2 weekends ago we went to the Big Timber Rodeo. It was soo much fun, especially watching the guys try to saddle a cow :) I love spending time with counselors. Then we has jr. highers. I had 7 girls in my cabin. It was great but a challenging week. My girls had a hard time truly grasping what it means to be a Christian. They said they "believe it", but then asked what they believe the say they don't know. This was very frustrating. But i have to believe God is working in their lives, even if I can't see it right now. Then on saturday we went to Billings for the 4th of July. We left right after the campers left in the morning, went to a baseball game, and went to a carnival for food and fireworks. I love fireworks! The bummer is that it was raining for a bit, but it turned out to be a great staff outing.

This past week was crazy. Alot happened! Well to start, i only had 6 girls in my cabin because 2 didn't show up. On tuesday we went to the Boulder Fields. We took 4 buses to get all the campers there. On the way, on of the buses went off the edge and tipped over. Thankfully, the fall wasn't to far, and it only tipped on it's side, rather than rolling, or worse rolling into the river. I was not on this bus, however about 40 campers were. Thankfully, nobody was injured more than some scrapes and bruises! Praise God. All the details for the accident have been working out smoothly, but continue to pray that the reputation of the camp stays strong.

High school camp is a whole different ball game. The kids are way more mature from jr. high, and it is almost scary. I can remember back to high school, and i feel the innocence level has dropped dramatically. Some kids just are out of control, no respect, no care, down right mean, and it was crazy the sense of evil i felt i was around. At the same time, you have kids who are soo eager to grow and learn about the Lord, and are desperate to break out of societies low expectations and norm. Chapel this week was about the storms of life that we go through. I had the opportunity to share some of my testimony in front of the whole camp. It's crazy how much the kids love hearing the counselor's stories. They can connect and understand so much more. Through my testimony, i was able to share how through a storm you have to first acknowledge the pain. If not, the consequences will come later for holding it in. Also i shared how you absolutely have to place trust in God and not yourself. Taking control yourself does not work. Without Christ as your Solid Rock, there is no hope during a storm. I was able to talk to this girl about what she was struggling with, which was such an encouragement to me. All these kids have insane stories, some that i will never experience. But through my storms, i can show how God has been faithful to me, and that can bring comfort to them. 2 Cor. 1:3-4 says "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." Know that in any trials you go through, God will use you to comfort others if you allow Him.

God is so mighty to save. I learned that I can't do anything on my own. He alone will work in their hearts. Only He can save. He can move mountains. Even if I were not to praise Him, even the rocks would cry out!

I know you may want to see some pics. I miss you all and will respond to all written letters soon!
the rodeo.....
jr. high....baseball game.
...Boulder Fields....High School....

Bye :)

another success.

2009-07-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

hey! so this will be short..i don't have a lot of time..first of all..HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!! wow..what a week..i can't believe another has gone by..and successful once again..campers just left..we're leaving at noon today to go to Billings and to a baseball game..then to a carnival for fireworks! not much of a break..but so fun. I didn't have time to upload pictures..so that will have to wait for today..a few recaps of the week..last weekend we went to the Big Timber Rodeo..which was fun watching some of our guys try to saddle and ride a cow. This week was the jr. highers. I had 7 girls in my cabin..all so great! They are definitely at a hard age, where they have a lot of questions about belief and what is real or not. I had a lot of free time it seemed..because they like to be independent. One thing i learned is to trust that God is working in their lives even when i can't see the outcome myself. I also really enjoy fridays..when we have water wars. Pretty much you get all wet..and there is lots of whip cream involved! It rained alot this week..which means lots of beautiful rainbows!! I miss all of you, and hope to talk to you soon! Keep in prayer this week, which is the last youth camp (high school). It's gonna take alot of energy, but i can't wait!

"God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me."

Bye :)

The Morning Sun.

2009-06-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

So i've developed a routine in the morning. I wake up at about 5;45-5:50 am and yes go to the bathroom (random i know). But i immediately move the blind and look out the window. Straight ahead is an amazing view of the mountains, but what i like to see is the view to the right. There is this spot in the mountains that the sun hits directly, which i love to see. It's the start of another great day, and it reminds me the sun is shining once again and God is near.

46.

2009-06-27T12:27:00.001-07:00

well it's saturday, so i'm back again. This week was 5th and 6th graders and by far the most challenging yet. I went into it after a great 1st week of camp somewhat thinking it would be the same, just instead of 4 girls in my cabin i would have 9. I figured they would be a little bit more responsible, and more intrigued into hearing the gospel, but i think i was a little bit wrong. My cabin was awesome, and i loved the girls, but they were alot of work. I don't even know how to summerize this week. It's crazy the backgrounds and lifestyles that these kids come from. The first night we took a hike with all the kids, and i was talking with one of my girls, Haleigh, who went on to tell me how her parents are divorced, her mom is an alcoholic, she wants to live with her dad, she has 2 jobs, and is 12 years old. Then i talked with another girl who has 2 moms, no dad role model, and doesn't go to church. I was blown away at the fact that this was only 2 of the 140 kids at the camp, and they had this crazy of a story. I would say 4 of my girls actually go to church on a regular basis. I think i assumed everyone has heard the gospel, but i realized some just are not interested. This was challenging. I am learning not to put a limit on God. When i looked at these 5 other girls, I selfishly thought that they had no hope, and that they wouldn't pay attention, and that was how the week would end. I became discouraged because I with all my heart wanted all of them to truly be on fire for Jesus. That is so much to expect from a 11 year old who has barely heard of Jesus. My prayers reflected Heb. 4:12, as i was realizing how sharp the Word of the Lord is. He is truly able to pierce their hearts, and that is what i prayed for. At the end of the week, 1 girl told me she "prayed the prayer" and actually meant it (this was Haleigh), but i know the struggle will come when she returns home. Pray for her. My cabin was extremely messy and obnoxious, but i loved the girls. I will miss them. For the whole camp this week, 46 kids admitted to believing in Jesus for the first time. Amazing. Of this one thing i am sure. 1 Cor. 3:5-7 :Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave each one? I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase." I am trusting that God worked through me somehow. Thank you for using me Lord.

And of course..pictures :)
backwards day : me and becky!..
..
...
...
try to find me..i kinda blend in :)...
this is my buddy johnny..he got a sweet bruise from being kicked by a horse. stud.

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow.

2009-06-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

hey hey!
So the first camp is officially over. This week was jam packed and fun filled with 3rd and 4th graders, and let me tell you, it was non-stop. I don't really know where to start summerizing. Well to start, the week was awesome. It was a smaller camp, so i only had 4 girls in my cabin. They were so great...Dayna, Grace, Hannah, and Kara. They were so much fun. The second night one girl got sick, but i handled it :) Basically they have chapel in the morning and night, with activities and free time during the day. The chapel speaker was great and all they kids really learned alot! He did illusions and ate fire, and really portrayed the message of the salvation well for them to understand! Two of my girls had given their lives to Christ last year, one had sometime before and one did this week! Now it's hard to understand if they truly understand what they are asking for, and most of them do get it. I am just praying that seeds were planted and the Lord takes that and helps them grow. One thing that was hard was that they try to figure EVERYTHING out. They just can't grasp how God was made, and that He actually wasn't, He always was. It doesn't make sense to them, or maybe to any of us. So it's hard trying to tell them you just have to have faith and believe it. For the whole week, 23 kids confessed to have asked Jesus into their hearts for the first time! Praise God!

There was also a lot of fun things that went on this week. We had backwards day, which was a lot of fun! We also had Superhero day, in which i was Catwoman. We had all the superhero's battle at the end of the day. We had a group of guys that won! It is so nice to have no campers here. The camp is like a ghost town, but it is so nice to just sit, and sleep or read and rest. Today, if the sun stays out, the staff is going hiking and for a dinner picnic. Then we are going to watch planet earth..in which i am super excited for :)

I learned alot this week. I learned to have energy when i didn't feel like it. I learned it wasn't about me. There were time when i just wanted to be alone, but had to remind myself, "You are here right here right now, and have to give all you've got." It is amazing how God works, and can teach you so much, even though your focus can be elsewhere. Even when i was selfish and only thinking of myself, God worked. God is still faithful. He is still powerful, holy, and sovereign. It is so nice to be away from the distractions of the world. I love just being outside and with these same people, and watching them grow and seeing how God is working in them. It has been such an awesome time. Tomorrow 5th and 6th graders come, and i think i am ready for another week. I know the Lord has control, and I am trusting in His power.

I Cor. 9:19-23
"For though I am free from all men, i have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more;and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that i might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that i might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that i might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that i might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that i might by all means save some. Now this i do for the gospel's sake, that i may be partaker of it with you."

I miss everyone not here with me. Just a few shoutouts:
Holly- I just wrote you pretty much a book last night of my time here so you may get that soon :)
Hope- Girl i miss you! i hope you are safe and having an awesome time in Ukraine. I am reading the updates! Thank you for your letters!
Jan- Thank you for your's and neily's letters! it is so good to hear what is goin on back home.
Grandma- Thank you for your letters!! i am sorry i haven't had the chance to talk to you. I am loving my time here, and miss you both! i am glad to hear grandpa got to hit golf balls!! I love you so much and will talk to you soon!!
G-Dub- ya smart idea, we don't need umbrellas here, you definitely just walk in the rain :) Miss you bud!
Dad and Beth- you should get a call from me soon (if not before you read this).

and of course i cant come on and not post pictures!

..lining up for lunch (backwards day):
..superhero day!
...my sidekicks :)...
crazy utensil breakfast (i had to eat a banana and biscuit with a can opener) haha..

well, thats all for now! I miss and love you all! Thank you for your prayers!!

Hillary

Double Time.

2009-06-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

So yes, this is my second blog in the same day, but hey, that's ok. Except this time i have pictures. Today some of the counselors went on a hike to Trinity Falls. This may have been my favorite day so far. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think as i notice the great bond between the counselors, outtings with them are even better. The one exciting thing about the hike is that the water is absolutely FREEZING (maybe 34 degrees), and you can't go and not go in! So, at a point in the waterfall, everyone toughens up and jumps in (well maybe were not that brave, cuz we just ssllooowlly walked in :) It was so much fun!! I captured some fun pictures!
This is my friend Kim-she helps in the kitchen.............

Right when we got back to camp, the weather changed. There is now thunder, lightning, and rain. I hope it clears up by tonight, because we are hoping to have a bonfire.

Another highlight of today was the practice of singing chapel songs! it was so fun just being crazy and having fun with handmotions, but at the same time worshipping our Savior. One song i personally like is "I'm Trading My Sorrows". "I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame, I'm laying them down, for the joy of the Lord". Love it!! I also really like the song "Worthy of Praise". The song names all these names of the Lord, and I think it is so powerful in describing who He is and how amazing He is. "He is Lord of Lords, He is King of Kings, He is Mighty God, Lord of Everything, He is Emmanuel, He is the Great I AM, He's My Prince of Peace, who is the Lamb, He's the Living God, He's my Saving Grace, He will reign forever, He is Ancient of Days, He is the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End, He's my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer and Friend, He is my Prince of Peace, and I will live my life for Him." Sooo goood!

That is pretty much it for now. Side note, i have been drinking alot of cinnamon apple tea.

love.
hillary

One week later.

2009-06-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

So i have been in Montana for a week now. The time has flown by sooo fast. I can not believe it. Today we only had to work half day, so free time til about 10 am tomorrow. It is so nice just to be able to hang out with the other staff and do anything, or nothing at all. I think we are all going on a hike to Trinity Falls, which is a waterfall (obviously), then later tonight we are going to have a bonfire and probably some worship.

I have so blessed by this summer staff. It is so amazing to watch and hear everyone's different stories. Yesterday we all shared what God had been teaching us over the past year. It was so encouraging to hear everyone's struggles, as well as how God has followed through and taught them and proven Himself faithful(though He doesn't have to; no matter what He is). I could really sense the Lord, and the desire in the hearts of this staff to serve Him. We are all in the same place, not really knowing what the summer holds, but we are earnestly begging for God to work, to save many, and for Him to be glorified.

Our verse has been this:
Acts 26:18 "I want You to open their eyes, so they will turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God. Then their sins will be forgiven, and by faith in Me they will become part of God's holy people."

sorry i have no new pictures; many some will come soon!

Please keep us in your prayers and 3rd and 4th graders come this week! I can't wait.

hillary

My prayer.

2009-06-09T18:15:00.001-07:00

Father, I want to stand as close to the cross as I possibly can, because it's harder for me to be arrogant when I'm there.

montana. montana. montana.

2009-06-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hello! Well i have been in Montana for a few days now, and i love it! i am still trying to get settled, but it has been adventurous so far! when i arrived yesterday it was raining and somewhat snowing. . Last night, us girl counselors went on a walk, and this is what came of it :) attemp #5: . then today we hiked up to some waterfalls and "bear caves". It was still raining, but so much fun.

as you can see, it has been fun so far. One thing that is important is to drink lots and lots of water. The water is sooo fresh up here, and i LOVE it! here is where it comes from :)

i miss everyone so much!

talk to ya'll soon!

hillary

it happens.

2009-06-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

So today my purse broke. But it's not just your normal purse. This bag holds everything I need. My purse always seems to weigh more than the average girl's does. But i like to be prepared. I then come to the conclusion i shouldn't be surprised that it breaks..I unloaded my purse and it sure was filled, probably with some things I don't really need. Let's see it had my Bible and my journal (both important), 2 packs of gum (hey, you may want a different kind), my wallet, keys, some chapsticks (maybe one too many), sunglasses, a random bracelet. Yes, it needed to be cleaned out. When will i get a new purse? I don't know. Maybe it's a hint to lighten my load.

Aside from this, I have been reading more lately. (More as in my 2nd book of the summer). The book is called "The Cross Centered Life" by C.J. Mahaney. It is an easy read, but really challenging. One thing I found interesting was the difference between justification and sanctification, and how we (we'll I) mix up the two. Justification is objective-it is Christ's work for us. Sanctification is subjective, and it is Christ's work in us. Justification is a finished work. Nothing we do can add to our justification. We're never "more saved" or "more loved" by God. Our works do not add to the finished complete work of Jesus on the cross.

I was really convicted by this. Sometimes I believe the works I do will make God more/less pleased with me, when this isn't true. He will never love me less. His love is shown by His grace and work on the cross.

have a blessed rest of the week!

hillary

drawing near.

2009-05-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

well hello. apparently i have not been in the blogging mood lately..but i guess i am now haha. My summer has been quite busy..filled with what I do now know. I have been all over the place, and trying to hang with as many people as I can. In two weeks I will head up to the beautiful state of Montana to work at a summer camp for 10 weeks. I am getting more and more excited every day! I hope it snows for a part of the time i am there. I hear the weather is somewhat unexpected :)

What am i looking forward to? meeting new people. I can't wait to experience new things, and hopefully experience God in a new way. Could june 6th come any sooner?

Here is a recent picture taken from the camp. Ahh I can't wait :)

coffee break. (though i don't like coffee)

2009-05-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well hello summer! i have been out of school for about a week now..and have been going non-stop since. but it has been enjoyable! just basically catching up with family and friends, with work here and there. In 2 weeks I will going to my real home (Ventura), basically the past week i have been wandering from house to house (grandma's, aunts, and friends). I am really excited to spend time in Ventura before I head up to Montana for the rest of the summer.

I have been learning a lot about time lately. Since I am out of school, I have so much time on my own, time to be wasted, or time to take advantage of. I also notice how much i want time to go by faster. For example, I was at the gym this morning, and I dont feel like 60 min has ever felt so long. But when I am laughing with friends, and hour could go by and feel like 3 mins. So strange to me.

I like this quote:
" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."-Will Rogers

Note to self: take advantage of time. I don't want to look back and say that I have wasted it.

ps. I hope everyone has a wonderful Mother's Day! (miss you mom!)

staying up late pt. 2

2009-04-29T01:55:00.001-07:00

seeing as this is the latest i've stayed up all semester..i figured a survey would top it off..so here goes:

What is the last thing you ate?
cookie dough

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before?
uhh...like the kind at the beach i guess

What is the last thing you bought?
a movie ticket.

Who is your best friend?
i am grateful i have many
:)

Any siblings?
Garrett..and Andria

Where are you right now?
apt. 215

Who was the last person you told a secret to?
uhhh.

What was the last thing to disappoint you?
my dinner

Where EXACTLY were you when you entered 2009?
holly's downstairs guest room

You just took 7 shots, what would you be doing?
you most likely will not find me taking shots.

Ever licked someone's cheek or forehead?
what the?

Do you wanna tell someone how you feel at the moment?
sure.

What holiday is your birthday closest to?
halloween

How many different things did you drink today?
water, G2, diet coke, apple/orange juice

Do you think you've changed over the past year?
so much.

How old do you think you'll be when you have kids?
a little older

Are you waiting for something?
always i think.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
i was.
:)

If you could change your eye color, would you?
prolly not.

Do you spend a lot of time with your parents?
i wish i spent more

Do you flip your pillow to the cold side?
nope.

How many times have you eaten sushi?
a few..not my favorite.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
umm russel at dinner.

Has anyone of the opposite sex told you they loved you and meant it?
my dad.

Are you good at giving directions?
i am actually.

Are you confused about anything?
sometimes.

Where do you want to go vacation-wise?
another country.

Do you prefer to call or text someone?
text.

Did you sleep in past noon today?
i rarely sleep past 8:30.

How many different colors are you wearing right now?
like 4.

How is the weather right now?
cold.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
prayed.

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
i guess you can say that.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
move out.

What's the first thing you did when you woke up?
im guessing went to the bathroom lol.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
maybe.

Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
prolly not likely

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
yepp.

Why did your last relationship end?
it just happens

Were you single over summer?
yes

Are you comfortable with your height?
i am.

What is on your wrists right now?
a bracelet

Did you know that pickles have no calories?
cool.

What color are your pants?
lots of colors.

Would you marry for money?
doubtful

How many people have you had feelings for in 2009?
this is lame.

Do you like fruity or minty gum?
minty.

Do you ever apologize first?
yepp.

Will this weekend be a good one?
i hope so.

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
nope.

Do you know someone in jail?
nope.

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
bed.

Do you have plans today?
i got a few.

What was for dinner tonight?
chicken

Does anyone love you?
i believe so.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
i hope not.

that was an interesting survey.

goodnight!

all at once.

2009-04-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

It's almost 2 am..and it's my last night at school before the summer break. this year went by so fast, it blows me away. I am definitely going to miss my roommates. I have loved spending time with them; it has been a great year.

I now look forward to the summer. I'm sure May will hold wonderful things, then comes June and I will head to Montana to work at a summer camp. I am looking forward to learning alot this summer, and being challenged by God in amazing ways. Every day is a new lesson, i just pray i am open to whatever He wants to teach me.

I am officially a junior in college.

hello world.

2009-04-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

So i've been thinking about things I have been liking lately, and figured I'd share:

1). This was shared with me as I learn about impacting and discipling others: love all, help many, train a few.
--->sometimes I feel there are so many people to share and reach out to, but I can't do it all. I need to trust God will use me in any way He can.

2). My roommate Hope's black-wedged shoes. I wear them way more than she does, and I feel I should repay her.

3). Baking!! I absolutely love baking! and eating it is always a plus :)

4). Being outside in the early morning (namely between 7 and 8). It is so quiet and peaceful!

5) The fact that we have one week left of school! this is crazy!..but crazy cool!

6). This video of Showbread. Wait until about the 9th min. It get's funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YItSP-YlIgU

7)Spending time with family. My dad has been such an encouragement in my life!

and let me leave you with this:
Philippians 4:8- "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virture and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things."

today.

2009-04-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

i have decided Easter is my favorite holiday. I can't even describe how powerful the resurrection of Jesus Christ is. It blows me away to see the power of the cross, and the power that God demostrates through it.

It is such a great time to reflect and rejoice in the faith that we have in Jesus. He is alive, and we have been made alive in Him.

hope your day was blessed!

14 people to be happy about.

2009-04-08T23:38:00.001-07:00

These are just a few of the people that have had an impact on my life, and I know there are many more.

1)Dayna Christian: nicest and most genuine person I know.

2)Aimee Brammer showed me what it means to be intentional.

3)Kelsey Newton (Kels my fav) was my first friend at CBU. At first I didn’t like her. This has greatly changed.

4)Hope: how do I sum up this friendship? We are sometimes joined at the hip. Her laugh is contagious, and I feel we are alike in so many ways, yet so different; a life-long friend.

5)Holly defines the word “best friend”.

6)Dayna: I have never had so much stomach- aching, eye- watering laughter with anyone else. She was with me literally when my whole world changed. I simply can’t explain her in one line.

7)Jessica will reach the top of the corporate ladder before I do. But that’s ok. She gives the best stretch arm hugs, and we could be apart for months and nothing will change.

8)Jamie :) she was my partner in crime through a breakup. Her honesty and boldness were deeply needed.

9)My field workers in China: with barely knowing me, they sought the Lord and revealed things in my life I needed to change. They could see right through me and were open about it. I am eternally grateful.

10)Armando and Amanda Garcia: I would not have survived high school without them as youth leaders. Those Wednesday nights were some that I still remember clear as day. God worked, and I was changed.

11)Briana Wragg: my faithful cousin who I used to fear because I didn’t want accountability. I am so grateful she is honest anyway. It is what I need.

12)Garrett: who else would take all my annoyance and still build forts with me? I still cherish all the times I can make him grilled cheese like I did when we were young; the best brother in the whole world.

13)My mom: hero, fighter, lover. She taught me so much through her life, stuff that I am still learning now. I will always love her.

14)Underoath: their music blows me away, and watching them grow as a band has somehow impacted my life.

passion.

2009-04-05T22:44:00.000-07:00

Nothing puts me more in my place that looking at the cross and the intensity of Christ's sacrifice.

end of story.

Late Night/Early Morning

2009-04-04T01:08:00.000-07:00

So as I sit here wondering why I'm not asleep..I have decided this question survey would be the most exciting thing to do. Enjoy!

4 Jobs I have had in my life:

1. Soccer Referee
2. Summer Camp Rec Staff
3. Porsche Dealership receptionist
4. Office Work for Neal Trucking Company

4 Movies I’ve Watched More Than Once

1. Tommy Boy
2. Elf
3. Memento
4. The Little Rascals

4 Places I’ve Lived:

1. Chino, Ca
2. Murrieta, Ca
3. Riverside, Ca
4. Ventura, Ca

4 TV Shows I Watch/Watched

1. What Not To Wear
2. Food Network
3. The Bachelor/ette
4. Jon and Kate + 8

4 Places I have Been:

1. China
2. New Zealand
3. Canada
4. Hawaii

4 People who email me regularly

1. My aunt Jan
2. Better Homes and Gardens Online..(free recipes)
3. Facebook Updates
4. any family

4 of my favorite foods

1. Cornbread!!
2. Anything with Peanut Butter.
3. Chicken
4. Asain- Chinese or Thai

4 Places I Would Like to Visit

1. Israel
2. Greece
3. Spain
4. Any island (Bahamas)

Things I am Looking Forward to in the Coming Year

1. Working at summer camp in Montana
2. FOCUS
3. Turning 21( i guess thats a big step in life)
4. Getting the chance in any way to grow in the Lord and hopefully be an impact in some way for His glory.

and there you have it :)

the beginning.

2009-03-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

so i was reading these song lyrics and i thought, "with lyrics this good, the song has to be really good." and sure enough, i was blown away. This is a song on Showbread's Nervosa CD. It is actually sung by Five Iron Frenzy's Reese Roper and his wife. Please take a listen (or even just read the lyrics).

THE BEGINNING (lyrics by Reese Roper)

I used to dream that I could fly,
just above the whispered clouds, beneath the somber sky.
I had a dream I was alive,
I dreamt that love would never die. (goodbye)
Dreams were cheap and hope was easy...(so light),
the forgeries of life deceiving...(so bright),
and as I glided to the ground...(so long),
calcified, the concrete weighed me down... (cruel world).

Your wings are holding up the sky,
dear God, I had a dreamt that I could fly.

Alkaline the burning frost, has blistered deep beneath my bones,
And winter spat its hatred, cold and coiled, black and deep,
as it called me ever further, where evil burns and never sleeps.
I once had prayers that found no words, fragile things I’ve never spoken,
through my lips passed eulogies for all the oaths that I have broken.
And still the ghost of hope was haunting, through the dark to save the living,
and still beneath it all I dreamed that God could be forgiving.

Your wings are holding up the sky,
dear God, I had a dream that I could fly.

When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of glory died, My richest gain I count but loss, And pour contempt on all my pride.

I am the worst of all things here,
my crooked, black, and lying heart still spits its bitter fear.
And each and every sparrow,
You see them flutter to the ground before they die,
So please God don’t forget me.

See from His head, His hands, His feet, Sorrow and love flow mingled down! Did e’er such love and sorrow meet, Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
To Christ, who won for sinners grace By bitter grief and anguish sore, Be praise from all the ransomed race Forever and forevermore!

Looking Forward

2009-03-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how close it is to the end of my second year of college. It is coming so quickly. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there is alot to be done before then. However, my plans for the summer are coming together, and I am looking forward to all God will do, and has already started doing.

I feel as though this blog will have a bunch of random statements from my life at the moment, but here it goes:
1) The newest aspect to my life is that I got a job! In this economy, I am so thankful. I work for my friend's parents trucking company, and help in the office. I love it because it fits what I do well, like organizing and filing papers and so on. Praise the Lord for sure!

2) I got accepted to be a counselor at Clydehurst Christian Ranch (in Montana)! I have been wanting to do this since I applied in late December, and I finally found out! I am looking forward to being away and experiencing God in ways I can't imagine. I want to meet new people, and hopefully have a positive impact for the kingdom of Christ.

3) This weekend we held a leadership conference on our campus. One of the sessions I attended was on our influence on others as leaders. One of my fears is that somehow I will have a negative impact on someone's life, unintentionally, by something I say or do. It has made me aware of what I say and how I act. I am learning that my attitude reflects what is in my heart.
A quote a like about influence is in one of Dwight Edwards' books. It says, "The older i get, the more I long to know that whatever influence God allows me to have upon others is genuinely of Him." First of all, it is God who allows us to influence others; I just pray it would be of Him, and people will come to Him.

4) I have been wanting to be in the Word more; not just reading, but memorizing and really knowing and understanding. This way I will be ready to share the gospol with anyone at any time. I really want to be intentional about doing this.

5) Just because I feel like I need a 5th point I am going to add a song that I like recently. Don't really know why I like it, but it is called "Salt in the Snow" by the Classic Crime.

I hope everyone's time is multiplied this week. If God is the first priority, I know He will allow all else to get done!

-Hillary

photo booth.

2009-03-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

Here is how it happened: Hope, Erik, Tim, and I decided it would be nice to visit our good friend John Sachs at Starbucks, where he works. Since this Starbucks is located in the mall (aka the place where lots and lots and lots of high schoolers hang out), we decided we wanted to fit and tried out the photobooth. This is how it turned out. We most likely won't ever pay $3 to do it again, but it was fun the one time we did :)

I am called.

2009-03-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

"I believe in the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love."

-Charles Spurgeon

Sometimes I crave chocolate; but sometimes I don't.

2009-03-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

This has been my break so far. Prior to these past fun filled days, my weekend was spent with my 7 year old cousin at the zoo in Santa Barbara and at the beach with my family. On Tuesday Hope came up to stay :) We spent the night making lots of brownies (and I mean alot), experimenting with air popped popcorn, and watching the ever hilarious movie, "The Little Rascals". This was so fun, and brought back tons of childhood memories. Just as Spanky says, "Say, those are some nice azuga's!!"

Today we took bikes to the beach and went for a nice ride. It was a morning of surf, sand, and of course sun! Then we experienced thai food for the first time, which was mighty delicious, if I do say so myself. I hope to go again soon. After lunch, we made yet another batch of brownies (not to worry, they were not for us), and made some trail mix as well. This has been something I had wanted to do for awhile. Kinda random, but I am a big fan. My recipe for trail mix included pretzels, almonds, sunflower seeds, cashews (all salted of course), dried blueberrys, cherries, and cranberries, as well as peanut butter puffin cereal. Maybe not your typical mixture, but it is by far a new favorite of mine. All in all, I have had a great time hanging with Hope. I enjoy her company, our laughter, and real friendship.

I am learning to love Ventura. Though having home up here is quite different, it is a good different, and I am thankful for the changes that God brings. I do realize they are for the better, and His plan is truly perfect. It is crazy all the things we constantly need to learn, and we realize them because of certain situations in our lives. I don't always recognize and thank the Lord for His work in me, but I am so thankful and blessed.

2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

Thank you Mother Teresa.

2009-03-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."

letting go.

2009-03-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Isn't it weird that the things in our life we need to work on most are the hardest things for us to do? Like patience. This is a big one for me. I am not a patient person. And when I pray for patience, I get situations that force me to be patient, in order for me to learn. For example, traffic. Not a fun thing for me. However, I think my biggest struggle is giving up control of my life. Sooo badly am I trying to hold on to it, and at the same time still trying to allow Christ to be in control. This doesn't make sense, yet I still hold on. Why do I want control? Am I trying to prove I am self- sufficient. I think I have come down to it being a pride issue, and that ultimately I think my way for my life is better. When will I realize and truly believe God's plan is bigger and better than I could ever hope for on my own?

I am trying to work on my pride, seeing as it is a root issue for a lot of things in my life. I am learning to reflect and contemplate the cross of Christ, because it is there that we shrink to our true size. Just the thought of the cross is humbling.

I want to stand as close to the cross as I possible can, because it is harder for me to be arrogant when I am there.

This really has no point.

2009-03-12T22:26:00.001-07:00

So i wore a leather jacket today (thanks to the closet of Hope Ekholm). Then I heard this statement, and laughed. Enjoy.

“I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.”
-Demitri Martin

all or nothing.

2009-03-10T00:03:00.001-07:00

wow. i apologize for my lack of writing. I guess i have been busy, and the truth is i have been. I don't even know where to start really. But i guess I'll give a little update on my life since february has past. I cant believe I am about to go on spring break. Time sure does fly!!

Well, school is good, but definitely time consuming. However, I have found the library to be one of my new favorite places. I can't seem to study in the same place all the time (aka. my apt.) . The library offers different places to study (aka. anywhere there is an open desk). I also like that other people are there also studying; sometimes someone you know is there, which isn't always likely to happen sitting at my own kitchen table.

I also recently was chosen for my school's freshman orientation program (FOCUS). I am really excited for this. I am ready to make new friends and grow and experience together, as we aim to know Christ and make Him known. I can't wait to see what the Lord does.

I am currently jobless, and I am noticing how much of a struggle this is. I currently have $1.01 on my debit card. This is bad! But i have NO time for a job. I am definitely learning how much stuff i want to buy but don't need to! Humbling for sure!

I have also been fasting from facebook. Until easter I have decided to try and spend my time on other things. Hopefully I can be more intentional, as well as experience Christ and share Him with others with this extra time.

As for now, I have a lot to do before spring break. I am going home for the break(Ventura), and I can't wait.

I am going to work on blogging more.

Until then,
hillary

wonderwall.

2009-01-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

Well, school has started once again. Actually I'm about a week or two into it. It has been so good to be back. I feel at home here, and I like it more and more. I have met more people and have deepened relationships already, so I am excited for the semester.

First of all, my good friend Hope is back. It has been so fun and has been great spending time with her.

I have been learning a lot as well; I find I am enjoying challenges (weird to say), because then I see more clearly the Lord at work in my life.

My brother and his girlfriend came and visited me today; first time since I have been here for the past year and a half. It was so nice to show them where I call "home".

Note to self: let go of control.

control freak.

2008-12-19T21:36:00.000-08:00

So i'm back up in ventura for part of the break. so strange. i assume i will call this home, because family is here. but at the same time, friends and family are in murrieta, which is home too. and riverside? i would say school is more permanent of a home for me. so weird how life changes huh? i am thankful, however. I have learned that change brings challenges, but with challenge, life becomes meaningful.

Control is hard to give up. It is the act of domination. When things are out of my control, i tend to freak out. It is something i am learning to let go. I need to let God be in control, and rule EVERY aspect of my life. It's so hard though. It means setting myself aside. Definitely a struggle. But i know when the Lord is in control, all things i worry over will fall into place. I guess letting go would allow God to really work. This sounds like a good idea.

One thing i have been interested in learning about lately is wisdom and truth. I feel like i should know more exactly what i believe; know the truth. Without absolute truth, there is no hope. Relativism has nothing to cling to. I want to know more of God's Word, that which is absolute truth.

It's crazy this semester is over and Christmas is here. I've been so busy and haven't allowed myself time to reflect on the meaning of Christmas. I really like the song, "o come o come emmanuel." I am so thankful we can rejoice in the Lord's return for His people.

ps. i love to bake, especially around Christmas time..mmhmm!

remind me i'm alive.

2008-12-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

so i am currently filling out an application to work at this summer camp next summer. i'm kinda nervous but i really think it would be a cool opportunity and would teach me alot...

so there are 5 songs that i believe are a must have for this christmas season:
1. Your Love Is Extravagant- The Almost
2. Carol of the Bells- Thrice
3. Do You Hear What I Hear- Copeland
4. O Come O Come Emmanuel- Sufjan Stevens
5. O Holy Night- Shane and Shane

take a listen. you won't be disappointed.

one last thought. i've been wondering lately why we try so hard to cling to all that wont last. i am trying to be more intentional, and to live with purpose, for the things that really matter. i would love to be held accountable.

12.3.08

2008-12-03T23:37:00.000-08:00

i miss hope. she was supposed to be my roommate. however, her phone calls are just as good.

hello.

2008-12-03T20:24:00.000-08:00

i decided it was time to participate in this blogger-ish thing. it sounds like a good time. :)

-hillary